


Always

by Readerfangirl1



Series: A Dead Man [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finn is in a coma, Gay Poe Dameron, M/M, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Can Sing, Sad Ending, Sad stormpilot, Tragic Romance, hyperventilation, singing Poe, tragic in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 22:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6925492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readerfangirl1/pseuds/Readerfangirl1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe has been visiting Finn every day for the last two months, hoping his singing will break the man's coma. When he's interrupted by the General, he starts to realize the chances of Finn surviving aren't good</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

Leia was in his room when I got there. 

“Oh,” she smiled broadly, “hello, Poe.”

“General.” I mumbled. 

“Planning on singing?” she nodded to the guitar case in my hand. 

“Not really,” I said quietly, “I just… you know. Brought it along.”

“I see.” 

Leia was desperately trying to make eye contact with me, but it was useless. She was always kind to me, treating me like I was one of her own… she deserved better than this. I knew that. Of course I did. 

“Well,” she patted me on the arm, “I should get going. Don’t stay long, Poe. You look tired.”

“I need to be here for him.” I blurted, feeling the heat rise into my neck.

She nodded slowly, staring into my eyes for a long time before answering. “You’re not a child anymore, Poe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I spat, stepping away from the general.

“People die in war,” she said calmly, “you should know that by now.”

“Of course I know that!”

“I don’t think you do,” she crossed her arms, “Poe, you’ve been coming to see Finn every day for the past two months.”

“So?”

“So,” Leia sighed, “it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why.”

I was too miserable to laugh.

“Poe,” she said, “you’re in love with a dead man.”

“He’s not dead.”

“He might as well be,” she snapped, rubbing her forehead, “I’m sorry, Poe. You know how much I care for you. That’s why I have to tell you this.” 

I clenched my fists. “Save it for the pamphlet.”

“There are lots of nice men in your squad.”

“None of them are Finn.” 

“Poe,” she growled, “I’m trying to look out for you. I’m trying to save you.”

“Only one person’s done that before.” I whispered.

Leia huffed, brushing past me on her way to the door. “I’m sure he loved you.” 

The door clicked shut quietly behind me. 

I pulled up the chair I normally sat in, and started to unclip my guitar case. My fingers were shaking. 

Fuck. 

I am gong crazy.

“Good afternoon, love.” I whispered. 

There was a time for loud love. For the kind of love that made you want to yell at everyone you passed: I’m in love, and it’s not with you. Or you. Or you. For the kind of love that made you want to run, even when all you should want to do is stay by their side.

This wasn’t a time for loud love. This was a time for hurried glances. This was a time for whispering. This was a time for saying things softly, in case you might hear the quiver of frailty in your own voice. 

This was a time for quiet love. 

I ran my fingers over the strings aimlessly for a few minutes. They fell into place for the new song I was learning- Always by Panic! At the Disco- and I started playing the intro. 

“When the world gets too heavy,” I sang, my throat heavy with the threat of tears, “put it on my back. I’ll be your levy…” 

I was singing terribly, and I knew that I should have been thankful there wasn’t anyone hearing me. I wasn’t. At that moment, I would have given anything in the galaxy to have Finn hear my imperfections. 

Why didn’t you sing to him before? Why didn’t you tell him you loved him? Why, Poe? Why can’t you tell people that? Why is it so hard for you to trust people? To love people? You were nobody’s fool, Poe, but now- now you’re sitting in a hospital room, singing to some random dead man like he’s your lover. What happened, Poe? What happened to you?

“It was always you, falling for me… now there’s always time, calling for me,” I sang, “I’m the light, blinking at the end of the road… blink back to let me know. Blink… blink back to… to let me… know…”

I let my guitar fall to the floor. Everything was shaking. 

“Finn…” I sobbed, “please… Finn… you can’t… leave me…”

What did I expect to happen? This wasn’t a fairy tale. This was real life. And I was no prince. I’d been trying for the last two months, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t love him back to life. 

He might’ve loved me. 

But he’s dead. 

Finn’s dead. 

I knew that I was breathing too fast, but I couldn’t stop it. Finn was dead. And I’d never felt more alone. 

In, out. In, out. In, in, out. In, in, in… 

Before I passed out, I remember thinking how much I would have given to never wake up again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey people, 
> 
> Thank you yet again for reading! I particularly enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it :) I'm genuinely sorry if I totally crushed your feels (well, mostly... I mean, you were warned). I swear that was only partially intentional- and I swear Poe will not be a sad little puppy forever. As always, I'll be updating every Saturday for the next few weeks!
> 
> May the gay be with you,   
> Mackenzie


End file.
